The last conversation to be discussed in this series is known as the identity conversation. No longer are we talking about what we think happened or whether our feelings are hurt.

As I described in my last entry, there are generally three types of core conflicts that emerge between partners. The “what happened” conversation arises out of disagreement as to what factually occurred, often leaving each party pointing the finger at the other.

Research shows that difficult conversations between partners generally fall into three categories: The “what happened” conversation, the feelings conversation, and the identity conversation.